Ep.7 a.k.a ‘Could you live in Arlington?’


Farmer Chris’s journey to find love kicked off last night as part of a 2-night special.
Wahoo! The more Bachelor the better! J
This week we are down to 7 lucky ladies as we begin the episode.
That is, until Megan and Chrishave a private chat in which they both
agree that there is zero hope of a future between them.
Sooo, Meg gets the boot and just like that we are down to Six.
Chris takes the girls on an exciting trip to Des Moines, Iowa,
in a feeble attempt to see which of these girls can hang with the cows.

Jade Meets Arlington:

 
Jade is the poor soul chosen for the 1-on-1 date in which Chris takes
her to his home town of Arlington, Iowa to meet the parents. Eeep.
No pressure right?

They walk around the little ghost town of his and Jade comes to the sad reality that there is
LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO HERE.
Nada. Zip. Nothing.
Not 1 restaurant, movie theatre, coffee shop, nothing.
Jade perks up upon arriving to the football stadium where the fans begin to shout,
“Kiss Chris, Kiss Chris, Kiss Chris!”
So of course, the two share a very passionate kiss,
right smack dab in the middle of the field,
quite possibly in front of every person Chris has ever known.
Chris expresses his delight that Jade is from a small town too,
 because there won’t be any big surprises between the two of them….
Don’t worry Jade, they probably don’t get Playboy in Iowa.
#doomed
Whitney Meets the Boys:
Chris chooses Whitney for the second individual date in which they spend
the day frolicking around the city of Des Moines taking pictures.
It’s quite boring, but I guess they’re cute together.
Chris takes Whitney to a bar and introduces her to 3 seemingly identical men.
Who turn out to be his best friends.
 Of course they have to look the same if they live in Iowa, right?
They drill Whitney with some tough questions,
but she answers flawlessly and they truly seem to like her.
#NailedIt
At the end of the night, Chris takes Whitney outside to show her
the mural of the two of them kissing painted on the side of the building.
Whitney is just beside herself and gets all emotional
as if he is proposing or something.
#emotional
Road trip to Arlington:
Britt, Carly, Kaitlyn, and Becca get the brilliant idea to road trip
to Arlington, to see just how small of a town they are signing up for.
In the words of dear ole Britt,
“it took about two minutes to do a slow lap around the town.”
Hey, I like her honesty #teambritt

Because everything, and I mean everything, in the town is closed,
they peer creepily through the windows of the only running building, the church.
Carly spots a picture of Jesus that her grandparents had hung in their house,
and jumps for joy because that’s a obviously a sign that her and Chris are MTB.
(meant-to-be, duh)
Carly Tattles on Britt:
Chris invites Britt, Carly, and Kaitlyn on an ice-skating date
and they are less than thrilled.
Carly has just about reached her boiling point with Britt,
and decides to tell Chris that Britt is being a big ole’ faker.
She tells him she worries that he is going to be hurt by her.”
Yeah yeah, sounds like jealousy to me.
 
Carly’s very own hand-puppet-Britt.
However, Britt does in fact validate Carly’s accusation as she enthusiastically tells Chris that she could “totally see herself living in Arlington.”
I’m sorry but love schmub, no one… and I repeat, NO ONE,
can “see themselves” LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
Come on Britt, lie better.
Chris is clearly on to her sneaky little games,
so he awards Kaitlyn the group date rose.


As Carly sits like a bump on a log, fumes begin to erupt from Britt’s ears
 as she penetrates Chris’s poker face with her death stares.
She is clearly losing it. And ya know, losing just ain’t her thang.
So Britt throws her hissy fit right in front of the other girls, demanding that Chris give her an explanation for not giving her the rose.
Police sirens are heard in the distance and it’s sort of like
an omen of their doomed relationship.


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Ep.7 a.k.a ‘Could you live in Arlington?’


Farmer Chris’s
journey to find love kicked off last night as part of a 2-night special.

Wahoo! The more Bachelor the better! J

This week we are down
to 7 lucky ladies as we begin the episode.
That is, until Megan and Chris
have a private chat in which they both
agree that there is zero hope of a future between them.
Sooo, Meg gets the
boot and just like that we are down to Six.
Chris takes the girls
on an exciting trip to Des Moines, Iowa,
in a feeble attempt to see which of these girls can hang with the cows.
Jade
Meets Arlington:

 
Jade is the poor soul
chosen for the 1-on-1 date in which Chris takes
her to his home town of Arlington, Iowa to meet the parents. Eeep.
No pressure right?

They walk around the little ghost town of
his and Jade comes to the sad reality that there is
LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO HERE.
Nada. Zip. Nothing.
Not 1 restaurant,
movie theatre, coffee shop, nothing.
Jade perks up upon
arriving to the football stadium where the fans begin to shout,
“Kiss Chris, Kiss Chris, Kiss Chris!”
So of course, the two share a very passionate kiss,
right smack dab in the middle of the field,
quite possibly in
front of every person Chris has ever known.
Chris expresses his
delight that Jade is from a small town too,
 because there won’t be any big surprises
between the two of them….
Don’t worry Jade, they probably don’t get Playboy in Iowa.
#doomed
Whitney
Meets the Boys:
Chris chooses Whitney
for the second individual date in which they spend
the day frolicking around the city of Des Moines taking pictures.
It’s quite boring,
but I guess they’re cute together.
Chris takes Whitney
to a bar and introduces her to 3 seemingly
identical men
.
Who turn out to be his best friends.
 Of
course they have to look the same if they live in Iowa, right?
They drill Whitney
with some tough questions,
but she answers
flawlessly and they truly seem to like her.
#NailedIt
At the end of the
night, Chris takes Whitney outside to show her
the mural of the two of them kissing painted on the side of the building.
Whitney is just
beside herself and gets all emotional
as if he is proposing or something.
#emotional
Road
trip to Arlington:
Britt, Carly,
Kaitlyn, and Becca get the brilliant idea to road trip
to Arlington, to see just how small of a town they are signing up for.
In the words of dear ole Britt,
“it took
about two
minutes to do a slow lap around the town.”
Hey, I like her honesty #teambritt

Because everything,
and I mean everything, in the town is closed,
they peer creepily
through the windows of the only running building, the church.
Carly spots a picture
of Jesus that her grandparents had hung in their house,
and jumps for joy because that’s a obviously a sign that her and Chris are MTB.
(meant-to-be, duh)
Carly
Tattles on Britt:
Chris invites Britt,
Carly, and Kaitlyn on an ice-skating
date

and they are less than thrilled.
Carly has just about
reached her boiling point with Britt,
and decides to tell
Chris that Britt is being a big ole’ faker.
She tells him she worries that he is “going
to be hurt by her.”
Yeah yeah, sounds like jealousy to me.
 
Carly’s very own hand-puppet-Britt.
However, Britt does
in fact validate Carly’s accusation as she enthusiastically tells Chris that
she could “totally see herself living in Arlington.”
I’m sorry but love
schmub
, no one… and I repeat, NO ONE,
can “see themselves” LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF
NOWHERE.
Come on Britt, lie
better.
Chris is clearly on
to her sneaky little games,
so he awards Kaitlyn the group date rose.

As Carly sits like a
bump on a log, fumes begin to erupt from Britt’s ears
 as she penetrates Chris’s
poker face with her death stares.
She is clearly losing
it. And ya know, losing just
ain’t her thang.
So Britt throws her hissy fit right in front of the other girls,
demanding that Chris give her an explanation for not giving her the rose.
Police sirens are heard in the distance
and it’s sort of like
an omen of their doomed relationship.

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