Ep. 9; The Fantasy Suite Shocker & A Monkey Attacks Chris

The final 3 ladytestants are jetted off to Bali to find love with Mr. Farmington
and his huge muscles.
Finally, he takes them somewhere worthwhile! Geez.
If I were one of the ladies I would be thinking
“What the heckkkkk” by now.
I mean New Mexico, South Dakota, Iowa… Seriously?!
There’s a theme here
Can you find love in the most boring places?
Around with Kaitlyn
Farmer Chris takes
Kaitlyn to a holy temple, followed with an attempt at playing with the monkeys.
One monkey leaps on to Chris’s back to steal a banana,
while another one pees straight on him. Classic.

Later at dinner,
Kaitlyn is visibly nervous about finally
opening up to Chris about her feelings for him.

“I am completely falling in love
with you, and it’s terrifying,” she said. “But it’s such a good
feeling at the same time, and I’m just really happy with the way it’s gone to
get here.”

The Fantasy Suite Card is revealed, which Kaitlyn obliges.
Up in the fantasy suite, Kaitlyn tells Chris she
 is falling in love with him,
which he shockingly responds with
“I’m falling in love with you too.”
Doesn’t he know
you’re not supposed to say that yet?!
Poor poor oblivious Chris. If she isn’t the one that he chooses,
he is gonna have some explaining to do.
with Whitney
Whitney and Chris
spend the day on a huge yacht drinking wine eating fruit, and basking in the
sun. Laying on a perfectly positioned picnic setup on the front of the Yacht,
Whitney tells Chris that this all  feels
very natural with him and that she feels like this could be there every day
They have yachts in Iowa right?

At dinner, Chris voices his biggest insecurity about the boringness of
Arlington, Iowa (I paraphrased).
Whitney secured his love by responding with,

firmly believe that life takes you places, and it’s not where you are, it’s who
you’re with.”

She too got a key
to the Fantasy Suite, along with a
“I’m falling in love with you too.”

Oh Chris, there is a dog house in
your future for sure.

Love” with Becca
Similar to Kaitlyn’s
date, Chris and Becca wander around Bali for a while, before eventually asking
for advice about taking the next step in 
their relationship from some Bali natives,
who respond with “Make Love.”
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Chris is like a giddy schoolgirl &
Becca looks like she just wet her pants.
Later, in the
Fantasy Suite,
Becca finally reveals to Chris that she is a Virgin.
He responds with another sub-par speech about how it’s hard to respond
to that, but it’s very respectable.

Come on dude, get someone to give you some cue-cards.

The curtains are
drawn, there is some kissing, then a voice-over of Becca saying,

“I’m so excited. Now that that’s
out of the way I’m ready to have some alone time and take advantage of this. I
have constantly said that I’m waiting for marriage. The reality is that this is
a situation where I’m falling in love and I’ve been waiting for a long time to
feel this. I’m 100 percent in,” she added. “I’m all in. I’m excited
to see what happens.”

My guess is that they didn’t actually have sex, but producers sure set it up
like they did.

The morning after, we see Becca walking alone on the beach as Chris sits
brooding with his feet in a
luxurious pool with the most stunning background.
Farmer Chris reflects on the morning with Becca stating that
“It left him with more questions” and that
“he wasn’t really sure what she wanted.”
I really hope we are
talking about life and not sex.
Because THAT would give Chris Harrison premise to state
that this, in fact, “Is the most dramatic episode ever!”

at the rose ceremony…

Chris and the 3 ladytestants are instructed not to show any kind of affection
further than hand-holding,
to respect the traditions of the temple.

 The 3 women anxiously await, in Kimonos,

to see if they will be one of the lucky final
to meet
The Mr. Farmington Family.

Chris walks down in
his little white sheet and pulls Becca away to chat one-on-one. After assuring him that she is open to moving to Arlington, he brings her back down to where the
other two women await, shocked.

And so is the rest
of America. Wait, he didn’t send Becca home? So that means that Kaitlyn or
Whitney are going home?
Complete Shock. I thought Becca was a goner for sure.

So, Kaitlyn gets the boot, and she is completely stunned.

I feel terrible for
her, but I’m  also super happy because
that means her witty ass will probably be the next bachelorette J
or Britt, either one
ABC, either one!

And next week,


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