Chris Harrison informs the girls they are headed for an exciting week
with Farmer Chris in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Megan is whips out her sombrero and jumps for joy exclaiming it’ll be her
“first time out of the country!”
Apparently the producers are sending her somewhere different than the rest of the contestants…
“Let’s come together….”
as she learns they will be spending the day with a love guru…
the girl who has a fear of being physically touched
gets the sex date. That’s just mean.
Chris informs us that this is a make or break date
for them because he needs to
feel the chemistry between them. Literally.
(see what I did there),
but in no world is it okay to take a girl
to a sex therapist on the first date.
15 years in to the marriage…maybe.
and Cruise Ship Carly looks like she’s on the verge of tears.
Can I blame her? No.
It’s actually a struggle just to watch.
until Carly finally reaches her breaking point
and puts an end to the madness.
Love guru Kingsbury instructs the two to share something that is keeping them from being open to love. Carly begins her spiel about how she feels unworthy of love because her ex-boyfriend wouldn’t touch her (hence the fear).
Now Carly, do you really think that competing
with a house full of women on national television
for the same man is really going to help
validate your self-worth?
Probs not girlfriend.
Naivety aside, Carly gets the rose.
Naturally, “Chris” (producers) chose the white water rafting date for her.
only to find Jordan (eliminated week 2)
waiting for Chris to give her a 2nd chance.
unfold disastrously on so many Bachelor seasons prior,
that they would learn that it never works out in their favor.
Clearly Jordan has memory loss from hitting her head
on Chris’s wall so many times.
(unless their Whitney, she’ll be your friend)
Second, you’re doomed to be dumped on TV yet again.
and Kardashian Ashley tells all the women that
they would be stupid to be nice to her.
Seeeeee Ashley, guys look for nice girls. Not virgins.
Life Lesson #2– Guys don’tlike girls who cause drama. Duh.
that I’m too confused to be grossed out. #SpillYourSecret
The date card reads:
“Sky’s the limit”
a deathly fear of heights.
Carly has a fear of intimacy,
so they send her on the most intimate date possible.
Jade gets hypothermia so she gets put on a raft in freezing water.
Britt has a fear of heights, so off on the hot air-balloon she goes!
or if he’s just as surprised as we are when the names are read.
who apparently sleeps with a full face of makeup
and is super perky in the middle of the night.
The most shocking element of all?
Chris shushes Carly and starts kissing Britt
right in front of her less than 12 hours
after he had a one-on-one with her!
after that little rendezvous.
During her interview she went off
about how Britt purposely puts on make-up
before bed for “just incase.”
But ya know what, that’s just smart!
Team Britt, clogged pores, and all.
doesn’t tell Chris her story then she’s gonna get the boot.
Because apparently widows are a turn-on?
So, she pulls him aside and tells him, very articulately, ‘her story’.
Supposedly, she was married to a man named Sanderson Poe,
(that even sounds like a made up name)
but he died of heart failure out of the blue.
Now, I’m aware that people handle loss
in completely different ways, but stating that
“It’s tragic. But amazing. I love my story,”
in an interview, is just straight psychotic.
— Kelsey Poe
At the rose ceremony, Chris gets choked up and excuses himself.
Whether this is because he was sad for her,
or just frightened of the consequences
of sending her home, is unclear.
My guess is the latter.
having a “nervous breakdown”.
Obviously, Fake. No acting gigs for you honey.