black censor box.
“This is a date made for bimbos,”
It’s camping…. but okay.
In the midst of her bitching and complaining,
a bee literally stings her inner thigh. Karma.
Britt’s reaction when it wasn’t her name…
(Disclaimer: Jade told the sisters she did some modeling for an online retailer.
Which retailer you might ask? Playboy’s amateur site.
Good luck explaining that one Jade. Eep.)
the most unintelligent question to date.
“What are you?”
“I know you’re a Scorpio, but that’s not important”
“Wait…have you all looked at the moon? And we’re sitting here. That’s weird to me.”
“What the hell is happening?”
Trust us Ashley, we are wondering the same thing.
So in an attempt to gain back his attention,
she decides to sneak into his tent to let him know she’s a virgin.
But…. she can’t actually say the word ‘virgin’for some reason.
I guess that would just make it too simple. So instead, she alludes to it over and over again until Chris is just completely mind-boggled
and is probably wishing she would just shut up
and let him return to his drunken-slumber.
while straddling him…..
effectively negating her point that she is
“not at all a hook-up girl.”
equipped with a pair of Neil Diamond earrings and glass Louboutins.
The two spend a lovely dinner bonding over the fact
they both have been engaged before and Jade’s got the rose on lockdown.
because she actually refers to herself as a
“Hopeless Romantic Disney Princess” in real life.
And life is just really not fair.
Wear her princess dress and have her own Cinderella date.
Jade gets Diamonds, you get corn on the cob.
But who’s comparing right?
Jillian, Nikki, Whitney, Carly, Britt, and Becca,
who are going to “get dirty.”
where they will compete in a mud runfor alone time with Prince Farmington.
You guessed it, Biceps Jillian.
And she doesn’t just win… she crushes them.
while Jillian gets to go have a rooftop dinner with Chris.
Unfortunately, for her, Chris couldn’t follow her ramblings about fitness
and “would you rather” scenarios.
That’s got to be the best thing he’s ever said.
Kardashley swoops him away before he can get more than 2 words out.
the conversation is over and Chris gives her a hug and sends her on her way.
Phew got that over with.
Oh wait, except now she’s upset that he didn’t kiss her…..
after she went on a rant to make it abundantly clear that
“SHE IS NOT AS EASY AS SHE LOOKS.”
Poor guy, he just can’t win.
At no point in his rebuttal did he actually formulate a complete sentence.
Juelia, Nikki, and Ashley S.
(sigh) I’ll miss her craziness.